Today, The Wife and I are off to Ikea to buy furniture for Chuy's new room.Like most husbands, I absolutely dread the trip to Ikea...I really don't mind shopping...it's the other shoppers I hate.
I know I'm not alone here, but I really can't stress how much these mindless consumers bug the shit out of me. These slow shambling creatures make my hands itch and my brain break out into a cold sweat...
I find myself daydreaming of various high powered rifles or even a handy machete to help me and my pregnant wife get through the damn maze of the undead and the flat-pack designed furniture (at affordable prices) like a modern day Stephen and Francine.
But, alas, I am armed with nothing....and I am forced to bob and weave, defenseless, through the drooling, Swede-obsessed living dead, on my quest to buy a fucking crib and some shelving.
And once the horror of shopping is done I get the pleasure of assembling our new purchases.
Thankfully, Ikea provides easy, breezy, wordless instructions:
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