Menu Confusion

Pregnancy has so many side effects and symptoms that nobody ever mentions to you until you are actually pregnant... hip pain... acne... my hair seems to be going straight... but the strangest symptom I've had lately is menu confusion.

I first noticed it the other night - we were out to dinner with some dear friends at a Greek place by my office. I love this particular Greek place - go there for lunch all the time - always order the same thing - the gyro meat and chicken combo plate. It comes with hummus and pita so you can make little gyro or chicken sammies... delish!

When the food arrived, our friends got the yummy gyro meat/ chicken situation, while the Hubs and I ended up with a Combination Platter... hmmm... sounds close in name to the Gyro/ Chicken Combo plate, but vastly different.

I didn't want to be one of 'those' people that sends food back when it was my mistake, so, we ate our Combination Platter - which, for the most part was good - had many different samples of Greek fair, but was missing the all important, infinitely tasty Gyro meat... bummer.

Cut to this morning... I wanted some orange juice and maybe a McMuffin of sorts, so I headed over to Mickey D's to make this a reality. I order the #3 combo with an orange juice and pull around to the first window... as I'm driving around to the window, it dawns on me that the #3 isn't in the McMuffin family... I should have been tipped off when the lady asked if I wanted butter and jelly for the biscuit... hmmm... no one has ever asked me that about a McMuffin before...

The #3 is a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. I once again didn't make a stink and change my order at the window because it was my confusion, not theirs, that led to this mistake.

It was yummy and came with the all important orange juice, so, in the end, no harm or foul... just so strange that I for some reason can't seem to order what I want from restaurants anymore... and I have no one to blame but myself...

Green Can Be A Problem

We've started painting Chuy's room this weekend...I'll let Ken Nordine tell you how it's going so far:

Secret Maternity Clothes?

So, I'm hanging out in the junior department at Nordy Town the other day... yes, that's right, I'm a 33-year-old pregnant lady that still has the urge to shop in the junior department.

I know Stacy and Clinton would tell me I'm not being age appropriate, and they might be right, but 33 is a tough fashion age - probably too old for juniors, but too cool for the ladies department.

Anyhoo, as I'm wondering around, I keep finding clothes that will fit my growing belly... which I find to be strange...

Why would there be preggers clothes in the juniors department? Is the rate of teenage pregnancy that high? Do they know that old ladies like me like to troll the racks for trendy stuff?

Here's the really crazy part... I purchased these jeans from that department...

Notice anything out of the ordinary on the waistline of these jeans? Oh, I don't know, like THEY"RE MATERNITY PANTS???

Literally, maternity pants - disguised as "lounge pants" in the juniors department.

I scooped them up as quickly as possible because they're the only dark straight legged maternity jean I've ever seen.

Oh, and here's another interesting tidbit... when I went to look the company up on-line, there's absolutely no mention of "The Lounge Act" jean... hmmm...

I smell a teen pregnancy jean conspiracy...

What Does The T.S. Stand For?

Waaay back in 1982, this Mr. Canacorn was just a lil' guy all of 10 years old...I was obsessed with many things: KISS, Star Wars, comic books, and the commercial for new Robin Williams movie, The World According To Garp.

I knew every line of dialog featured in those 30 seconds by heart and I made sure to recite them out loud every time the commercial aired...which was a lot. I know it might seem strange for a 10 year old to be into an adaptation of a John Irving novel, but it wasn't Mr. Irving's exploration of "fatherhood, lust, adultery, and loss" that intrigued me...oh no...it was all about Robin Williams for this kid.

Okay, look, I can't stand Robin's stand up now that I'm in my 30s but back then he was part of the Holy Trinity of comedians I worshiped. Along with John Belushi and Fozzie Bear, Robin was one of the funniest men in the whole world and there was no way I was going to miss this movie!

Thanks to my constant reciting of the Garp commercial I slowly drove my father and his (jerky) second wife to the brink of insanity. And when the commercial wasn't airing and reruns of F Troop weren't keeping my attention, I would act out the short quick scenes that permeated my every waking thought, further driving my dad and step-monster into my diabolical plan of taking me to a movie I wanted to see more than CAVEMAN or GOING APE!

Like most only children visiting their divorced dad for the Summer I got my way. But dad played it cool and said we were going to see ROCKY III again, even though we just watched that cinematic masterpiece the week before...HMMMMMM. Even though I wasn't eleven yet I was smart enough to see through his ruse, but I played along and even faked confusion once the trailer for ROCKY III started before the movie. Needless to say, TWATG was one of the greatest movies I had ever seen in my 10 years on the planet.

So why am I bringing this up on a blog dedicated to becoming a first time parent? Well, I guess because this film (and novel) has been on my mind quite a bit recently. If you've seen or read GARP and you're a man, you can probably guess why. The fears, triumphs, loss, wonder, and joy of being a son, husband, and parent are deftly handled in Garp's story and I can't help but relate. That, and it's a fond childhood memory involving my own father...and everyday I wonder more and more what kind of memories I'll get to create for Baby Chuy throughout his lifetime.

Anyway, I plan on revisiting THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP in the coming months with The Wife and I'll be sure to share my thoughts on it when we do.

Oh, one more thing: My Uncle John is in the movie as Man in Tree...wanna see?

Musical Taste from the Inside?

So, my "What To Expect" book told me a few weeks ago that baby Chuy could hear... mostly my heartbeat, digestion noises, stuff like that - but it also mentioned that Daddy Canacorn should start talking to him and that he could hear music.


Well, since us Canacorns met while both working at a particular Record Store, music is a big part of our lives and we were both excited to find that Chuy could start listening to music with us.


I thought I should get one of those "Build Your Baby's Brain" classical CDs to start with... everybody likes a baby with a big brain, right?



Daddy Canacorn brought us two CDs to get started...

Build Your Baby's Brain...

and Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of The Cure

Chuy and I listened to The Cure first. The 15-year-old New Waver that still lives within me was quite pleased that I was playing Cure songs for my son. The songs are slowed down, instrumental and quite smooth, but still The Cure nonetheless. My client was pleased.

We popped the classical selection in next. This CD is great if you haven't worked in a Record Store for the past 15+ years. If you have limited knowledge of classical music and just want something nice and relaxing, this is the disc for you. However, I would recommend not listening to it while driving as it may cause severe drowsiness... I think it also caused fetal drowsiness - which could come in handy when Chuy gets paroled.

Since both CDs could be considered 'lullaby' types, I thought I would move on to something a bit more lively...

The Charlatans UK "Between 10th and 11th

and The Dandy Warhols "Dandys Rule OK"

Baby Chuy was going nuts during the Charlatans - granted, it's a pretty awesome CD - I've personally loved it for many many years now. Guess the kiddo is partial to shoe gaze, which works for me!

He didn't care much for the Dandy Warhols, however. I'm not too surprised - Dandy's Rule OK is their best outing by far, but is no match for Charlatans greatness.

I think we're going to try some Alice Coltrane next... maybe some Herbie Hancock? Gotta love that Headhunter...

24 weeks!

Baby Chuy is the size of a foot long hot dog this week!

This baby keeps getting more delicious!

What If?

I know kids have tons of questions...I can only hope Chuy will come up with one as important as this one.

What Middle Name For Son?

Well, I don't know if y'all have heard, but The Wife and I are having some troubles agreeing on a middle name for baby Chuy (yes, this is one of those bloggy-type nicknames just in case some psycho decides to track down our family and kidnap our soon to be born super baby genius).

I've asked family, friends, and even strangers on the internet...and no one has come up with a great middle name. What's a father to be to do?

I'm not sure what most fathers to be would do, but I sure as shit know what I'd do! I'd ask Ookla The Mok! I know, I know, that sounds crazy! Who in their right mind would ask a humanoid, lion-like creature with yellow eyes and fangs anything...never mind what to name your unborn son?

What can I say, I'm kinda' weird. Anyway, I asked and he delivered! Check out what the big guy had to say HERE and don't be afraid to ask Ookla any questions you may have. Not only is he super cool, but he's wicked smart too! Just shoot him an email...he uses Gmail and everything:

DearOoklaTheMok@Gmail.com

Even though The Wife and I still haven't figured out Chuy's middle name yet, Ookla has given us a lot to think about.

Thanks again, you big lug!

Snapshot Of Awesomeness

Would you look at that?

There seems to be something inside of The Wife....AND IT'S ALIVE!

That's right, boners, I'm gonna' be a father!
I've seen enough movies to know that this will not be good for the rest of you.
You have been warned.